Gallows Humor #4 -- Civility

Gallows humor #4 (posted on FB July 22; copied to blog 7/24.  “Civility”)

There will be memorial services for children killed by abortion on September 14, all over the country.  At least for now, I’m the memorializer-in-chief for the DC area.  So I’m going to keep running ads for the event (in Fairfax, mid-day, 9/14/13, details to be determined).  I’ll label them “gallows humor,” whether the ad is funny or not, so you can ignore them easily, and not read it expecting something sweet and silly.

An event for a child is probably meaningless if it is not also an event for the parents, mother especially.  But it’s a memorial service, and the parents aren’t dead.  So how do we get mom into the title?  “Memorial Service for Children KIA, Plus Non-judgmental Prayer for Bereaved Parents” – how’s that?

One year at the March for Life, there were counter-demonstrators lining the avenue, chanting “Racist, sexist, anti-gay, born-again bigots, go away.”  That’s got an irresistible rhythm to it; I liked it.  I did think that unrepentant racists should go away.  I did agree with Pope John XXIII that sexism is a grave evil, and so I was ready to ask unrepentant sexists to (1) repent, or (2) engage in dialogue about the role of women, or (3) go away.  “Anti-gay” is somewhat ambiguous, but the context seemed to make clear that it referred to habitual bad-mouthing (or bad thinking, anyway) directed at people; I’m still on board.  I oppose bigotry; we’re in agreement there.  And if you have been or probably will be born again as a bigot, that’s a damn bad thing.  “Go away” is a little harsh, but “go away unless you want to enter into mutually respectful dialogue” doesn’t scan well.  Bottom line: I can chant all that!  So the counter-folks flipped birds and chanted, and I danced a little and chanted, too.  “Racist, sexist, anti-gay – Born-again bigots, go away!”  Same applies on September 14.

I will try to get Eric and friends to come bounce for the event.  Eric was the Maid of Honor at my son’s wedding a few years ago.  The wedding plans hit snags, and two prospective maids or matrons of honor produced bona fide solid gold reasons for absence.  So we (they) hit the bottom line: what’s a maid of honor for, anyway?  Well, if Eva has a meltdown, who does she want to talk to?  She won’t melt down; she’s tougher than …  That is, she’s tough.  If she gets stressed, she beats the living …  That is, she deals with it in direct and externally expressive ways.  But just hypothetically, if she does experience stress, who does she want right there, right now?  Well, if #1 and #2 are unavoidably absent, then #3 is Eric.  Got it.  He’s Maid of Honor.  Definitely do not tell the Best Man until the last minute.

Anyway, Eric is huge.  If he says, “Racist, sexist, anti-gay – born-again bigots, go away,” those twice-born children of Satan who are behaving disrespectfully will depart, forthwith.

Behave.  You have been warned.